Up and down, and up again

It's been a roller coaster week, that's for sure.

Most of the week was spent helping out a friend of mine paint her new apartment, and it involved a lot of early mornings and extremely sore muscles. Last weekend was a blast, as we spent the entire weekend at her apartment. Friday ended up out on town and drinking way too much alcohol (I couldn't even stand on my feet when we came back to her place), and Saturday we were hung over and snowed in. It was hilarious, and we had a lot of fun just painting and nursing ourselves. Can't actually remember the last time I had that much fun, and it was sorely needed cause I've been extremely down lately.

Had a very good appointment with my psychologist earlier this week, which gave a rather heavy boost to my mood, and it made me see that I might just have a future after all. My big dream is to own my own gaming company, and after a lot of encouragement from my psychologist and my best and most dearest friend in the entire world I think I might be able to pull that off. I mean, why not? At least I'm gonna do some research on the matter and see if I'll be able to make it happen.

As for my mood and my sanity, things are as up and down as they've always been. I can feel that I'm extremely depressed, and I get sad about anything and everything, but I'm forcing myself to smile through it all with the hope that if I just smile long enough, the pain will somehow disappear. Don't know if that'll work in the long run, but so far it's been the only thing that has kept me from drowning myself. And that has got to count for something, right?

I've had a very lonely weekend, but that's really nothing new, so I've just learned to ignore that. Hopefully next week will be a good one, and maybe I can somehow manage to do something fun next weekend to make me feel better about this one.

I'm still feeling scared and lost, but I'm praying that things'll change and that I'll somehow find something to hold on to.

Someday, somehow, the pain has got to stop.
At least that's what I want to believe.