Tired of being invisble

I just did something I never thought I'd do. I actually wrote to a public magazine about my troubles, asking for advice.

I guess I've just come to a point where I can't keep bottling things up anymore, so I had to get it all out somehow. I don't know if it'll be put in the magazine, or replied to, but at least it helped just to write things down. I broke down in the middle of writing, and finished up the e-mail in tears, but it actually felt kind of good. Like I got something out.

I also read the latest comment a friend of mine had given me on my last blog entry, and it made me cry even more. I completely broke down, and I'm still crying, cause it felt so unbearably good to have someone see me. To feel that someone cared.

To be seen, or heard, is just about the only thing I want right now.

I just feel so invisible and alone these days, and it hurts so much. I don't really have anyone I can turn to anymore. The two beings closest to me (whom I love more than anything) have so much to worry about, and I just don't have the conscience to bother them. My mother don't need more things to worry about right now, cause she's already worn down by a lot of things, and I feel like I'm imposing if I contact my best friend. I feel like I'm too demanding if I ask a bit of her time, when I know she's got so much to do, so I don't even dare call her anymore.

Out of pure desperation, I just sat down and wrote that e-mail to the magazine. I had been reading through an issue I had bought a while back for the big horoscope folder that comes with it, and the thought just dropped into my head. Why don't I write to them? They have special spaces in each issue that are dedicated to letters from their readers where people ask for help and advice for a lot of things, so why not. Couldn't hurt, right?

So, yeah. Now I'm just gonna wait and see if I get any response on it.
It's the only thing I could think of right now.
I need to get out of this hole, somehow.